Life is like one big ugly uneven circle. You have a curve of good, a curve of bad and a curve that is just something you really don’t want to deal with. Some of these curves may be larger portions compared to others or maybe they are made up of smaller curves of the original curve. But enough about cliche first blog opening paragraphs…
My name is Lauren, my friends call me Candy. At least they would if I had any friends (Hercules quote, you’ll thank me later).
You may recognise me from my awkward Youtube channel, in which I have a fear of speaking in public and don’t really fit into the “theme park vlogger” category because I don’t live in the near vicinity of a Disney owned theme park (apparently this a prerequisite of this category) or my other failed blog of ‘Eat Cake…’ in which I titled a blog way to long and lost interest in typing up recipes and eating out. But I feel like this one may stick, if only in the interim.
See two or so issues I have come across in my life is the great big dome of mental illnesses – to which no matter how many Buzzfeed, News or memes I post about the illnesses of anxiety and depression (umbrella-d because Buzzfeed still hasn’t worked out that there are differentiating variations of both), I still get the responses of “you don’t have them”, “you’re just making it up”, “I don’t understand these characteristics” or the blatant ignorance of it all.
Due to this I have lost all possible supportive networks that would help me get through the worst of them.
Today I am not going to get into the nitty gritty of it, but lets just say it started at the age of 13/14 and at times it has been easy to manage and others – mostly recently in the last two years – it has not. Oh, and before my mother jumps in and says “it’s just because you’re home sick”, I lived in Orlando for a year – lost all strong friendships within 6 months of moving there and still didn’t end up with those deep dark thoughts that people keep to themselves.
So no, I don’t feel home sick nor do I feel lonely. So lets just draw the line in the sand on that one.
We are going on a journey. ‘A journey’ you say in utter disbelief after reading the above paragraphs, yes, a journey. You see, I am about to embark through the treacherous jungles of life to see if a removal of a crutch will increase or decrease these black stormy clouds in my head.
This crutch is almost like an escape to perfection, you see it everyday – you might even be in the same boat as I – obviously I’m talking about my germ coated, broken glassed communication device.
It started with the Nokia 3315, Webslider, Nokia N97 (because sidekicks were an American device, thus unable to fully reach ‘Scene’ potential), Apple iPhone 4s, iPhone 6 and finally iPhone 7. This device is always in my hand partially due to the facts 1) I wouldn’t know what do to with my hand if I didn’t have it there and 2) I hope and pray that someone communicates with me through some sort of medium (this is normally never the case).
So back to the journey, it is simple – release yourself from the grip of unrealistic expectations that social media has placed upon you and test if this causes an increase or decrease in happiness.
I don’t expect miracles like “oh my gawd, we are free of all the anxiety and depression of the world!” but rather an outcome of “hey, I went a week without going into that garbage hole of darkness – cookie for you CK!”
‘The journey of 1% increased happiness’ will have rules like any fun game and are set below:
- All social media use will cease starting the 22 May and return the 22 June.
- Social Media use is inclusive of: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook Messenger (unless emergency contact from international family members)
- Smartphone can be used for all daily activities outside these forms but should be limited/removed during work and contact hours
- Under no circumstances should above social media platforms be used as communication gateways – it has been successfully clear that all important personnel have phone number and all contact should be through calls or text.
- If the journey is broken during the month period stated in point one, the journey seeker has a week to gain bearings before starting journey again.
The roads will not be easy but must be walked down.
I will keep this blog going through this journey and hope to spew the thoughts and going on’s of these days. This is a detox that won’t be taken lightly.
Feel free to join me on this journey – if you feel you a strong enough to undertake what lies ahead.
May the odds ever be in you’re favor.